By Abbey Cannan
Creating positive and lasting changes for women was the goal of an empowering luncheon held by Noosa charity WomenKind on Friday 2 September at Noosa Boathouse.
A panel of five expert women shone a light on the incredible work they are doing to take action against domestic and family violence, and how we can all be contributing.
Rosie Batty started the conversation, who was awarded the 2015 Australian of the Year less than a year after her ex-partner murdered their son Luke in February 2014.
Fronting the media on the morning after his death was the start of her becoming an outspoken crusader.
“I can’t say it was courage or anything other than stubbornness the day I stood up and spoke to the media,” Rosie said.
“I ended up talking and I haven’t shut up since.
“When Luke was murdered I was not living with his father, I was not married to his father. Luke was 11 and a half and I had 12 years of psychological abuse, sexual abuse, physical abuse, mental abuse, you name it. I didn’t even know I was experiencing abuse until I had counselling.
“There was not one time that I thought in my wildest moments that a man that loved his son, and he did, could ever be capable as a final act of control and revenge, to murder him to make me suffer for the rest of my life.”
Rosie said she felt sickened and gutted when learning about the Brisbane murder of Hannah Clarke and her children.
“Those three little children were in the back of that car and they got set alight and died a tortuous, miserable, painful death,” Rosie said.
“He did that deliberately. He knew what he was doing, and so did Luke’s father. And as a rational, caring person, just trying to get through my life, how could I have ever imagined what he had planned until afterwards.
“Chris Dawson has just been convicted of a murder of his wife 40 years ago. Why did her life not count. This is progress. We now have hope that convictions can stick, that we can be believed, that justice can happen.
“So as much as we look at this overwhelming tsunami of statistics that continue to feel demoralising, we know we are moving ahead in our strength in our commitment to equality to women.”
SunnyKids general manager Kathleen Hope said Rosie opened the door for them to start talking about the topic publicly.
“A lot of the work we do up here in the Noosa region involves a lot of women who are still in those relationships and aren’t necessarily in a position to leave,” Kathleen said.
“Not because a lack of economic stability but because of status, reputation, and harm to them in psychologic ways that they can’t even begin to comprehend.
“This sounds really confronting but there are women in this room who are in fact experiencing it.”
House of Shadows author Janelle Parsons said she wants to be a beacon of hope for children who are hurting from a pattern of trauma and domestic violence.
“I was told to be quiet and suffer in silence,” Janelle said.
“I remember I would take 25 cents, even though it was a free call, and I would ride my bike to a telephone box to try to ring Child Helpline and my mother would be behind me and she would hang up the phone. I had people who knew what was happening and they were told not to get involved, that this isn’t your business. I’m here to make you all know, it is your business.”
Domestic Violence Action Centre & HR Consultant Naomi Todd said they have people who have no where to go, with a huge increase in demand.
“We are supporting people who are living out of their cars right now. I promised I wasn’t going to cry but I actually might,” Naomi said.
“We’ve had a 63 per cent increase in report of sexual assaults. 43 per cent increase of domestic and family violence overall and 90 per cent increase in qualified police referrals. So it’s a huge problem. Everyone single one of us need to be doing a bit more than talking.”
Mens Domestic Violence Counsellor Karen Marsh has taken her 20 years of experience in the field and decided to work with men to get to the cause of what’s happening.
“Coercive control is about to become criminalised in Queensland and across Australia,” she said.
“We’re looking at those patterns of behaviour. I think we really need to look at toxic masculinity. How are men and women socialised into these roles. And sometimes men don’t realise that they have privilege.”
Rosie added, “Not sometimes, they don’t see privilege. Because how can you see something if you’ve always had it.”
Kathleen said if you are approached by someone who is experiencing domestic and family violence, to always believe what they tell you.
“If there’s nothing you can do for them, then point them in the direction of where they can go,” she said.
“If you can, never walk away from them. If you’re the person they can come to when they’re finally ready to leave, then you may have just saved a life.”
WomenKind Australia is a member based not for profit which aims to empower, educate and support local women to achieve their potential.
For more information about WomenKind or to join, go to WomenKind.com.au
For help call: DV Connect on 1800 811 811, Mensline on 1880 600 636; or 1800Respect on 1800 737 732. If you are in immediate danger – call 000 and ask for the police.
