Are you a closet recluse?

Tony Matthews in his broadcasting days.

A highly unusual new book by Queensland author, Tony Matthews delves deeply into the persona of the solitudinous introvert and reveals the true character of those who prefer to remain in the background, observing the world generally but rarely taking part in it.

Invisible — the Essential Guide for Aliens Stranded on Earth, is a frank and, at times, intensely funny examination of what it’s like to be a quiet, reclusive introvert in a world that generally likes to party loudly and excessively.

Based on the author’s own experiences as an introvert, recluse and vegan, and his relentless thirst for understanding, Tony takes us on a fascinating mystery tour. Utilising the tools of bone-cutting humour, his ongoing quest to become virtually invisible to the world has been an astonishing, life-changing journey where solitude is almost a physical place.

The book begins with a look at a young boy’s life as seen through the somewhat distorted prism of a satirical lens.

“When I was a kid I’d regularly hide in a cupboard under the stairs and pretend that I was the sole survivor left on earth after a zombie apocalypse. I couldn’t help it. I just liked to be alone,” Tony said.

“I was drawn to seclusion like a mouse is drawn to cheesesticks.

“It’s always been a part of who I am. I wanted to write about that in a frank and honest way but also humorously because I knew that there were loads of introverts and recluses out there who still feel that they are a bit strange because they are so different. Not only did I want to use my words to try to broaden our understanding of what it’s like to live as an introvert in a world that likes to party excessively, but I also wanted to let all the introverts know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with wearing odd socks all your life or madly running to the left while everyone else is running to the right.

“It’s OK to be different.”

In his book Tony introduces a tapestry of reclusive characters who either shaped or influenced his early life including several rather potty aunts — one of whom, apparently, could speak with the dead.

Tony also spends periods of his summer vacations in a Stone Age cave where, crawling like a badger into a narrow tunnel, he quite remarkably discovers the fossilised remains of a million year old pterodactyl.

Among many other aspects of life faced by the typical introvert, Tony also introduces the Zone of Absolute Terror, otherwise known as the much feared ZAT.

This is a place that all introverts have to visit on occasion, usually when starvation eventually drives them out of hiding. Public speaking, dealing with checkout operators or answering the door to salesmen are all classed as major ZATs.

Curiously, the author demonstrates that reclusive people also make great secret service agents, and he tells of how he was once ridiculously headhunted by the CIA. The book not only discusses what it’s like to live as an introvert and recluse but Tony also writes about some of the most interesting, weirdest and wackiest recluses in history.

Utilising the tools of incisive humour, Tony strips away the myths and legends surrounding those who embrace a vegan and reclusive lifestyle, while at the same time exposing a dysfunctional array of issues.

For example, sometimes we all have to pretend to be people we are not. More than occasionally, introverts have to appear to be extroverts and, astonishingly, the reverse is also true. Who would have believed that introverts actually make rather good military commanders because not only can they think calmly and quietly but they also like sitting in darkened rooms where they can’t be seen, remotely guiding operations in locations that might be tens of thousands of miles away. It’s a strange form of highly improbable invisibility.

Tony also introduces his readers to a whole gaggle of truly peculiar recluses and hermits — all quaintly gentle and socially invisible relics of another age, and almost, it seems, of some parallel universe. These are some of the curiously different characters the author has met personally, or has researched during his work as a prolific writer, historian and ABC radio broadcaster.

What he doesn’t do in his book is offer advice to other introverts.

“People who are naturally introverted, and especially those who are reclusive, like me, have probably been on the receiving end of advice all their lives and I expect they don’t need any more from me,” he said.

“My book, however, outlines how I have dealt with being an introverted reclusive vegan and animal rights campaigner, and I hope that in discussing my experiences so openly, I’ll be giving others the confidence and strength to continue their own introverted and reclusive lifestyles without having to feel guilt or remorse or any other kind of negative emotion. It’s just OK to be you and draw strength from your own individuality and commitment.”

Published by Big Sky Publishing, Invisible — the Essential Guide for Aliens Stranded on Earth is available from all good book stores or online through Booktopia. Other titles by Tony Matthews can be found on the publisher’s website bigskypublishing.com.au