It took a bit of getting used to, but the WSL Abu Dhabi Longboard Classic was nowhere near as bad as the hostile social media critics painted it during the first few hours.
And, speaking of paint, I have to admit that parts of it were as boring as watching paint dry. A hastily-edited highlights package screened Monday lunchtime would have been a better way to go, but in the interests of the many mad-keen longboard wave pool event enthusiasts who read this column, I “raw-dogged” my way through large chunks of it live in the wee small hours, and when they switch the lights on in Abu Dhabi, you know it’s way past bedtime in Noosa! (By the way, I’m borrowing that raw-doggy expression from a grandson who prides himself on being able to switch off all sensory responses for long periods of time, such as a six-hour plane ride, so I hope I’ve got it right.)
As I’ve mentioned here before, the World Surf League used the longboarders as the canaries in the coalmine for this event, having already signed on for a championship tour shortboard event there next year. And although the temperature hovered around the high 30s for three days and well into the nights (that’s 100 F in the old money), often accompanied by a scorching wind, the competitors seemed to be enjoying it all, lounging around the poolside pool with loved ones and doing their best to fill up the otherwise empty grandstand seats.
Surf Abu Dhabi on Hudayriat Island is home to the world’s largest wave pool, a maxi-version of the prototype Kelly Slater Surf Ranch in Lemoore, California, built last year alongside a growing number of elite sports venues, which is why from most directions the island looks more like a huge construction site than an oasis in the desert, although in the distance you can see the Gulf’s tallest skyscrapers clustered downtown, most of them looking like pale imitations of London’s “Gherkin”.
For months now we’ve been watching video of wave design wizard Kelly gazing in wonderment at his creation, the skyscrapers glowing in the distance, and then ripping the bag out of the glassy, perfect waves. But, like Surf Ranch, what you see isn’t always what you get. Like Lemoore, the machine-produced waves are not all identical, and like Lemoore, surface wind and backwash figure quite a bit in the presentation. Unlike Lemoore, SAD is huge – longer, wider than its dad and producing 500 metre waves going both ways. Oh, and it’s saltwater, not fresh, adding to the buoyancy factor, just like the ah, real ocean.
The wave itself, positioned on “point break” setting for the longboards, looks friendly enough as the wave train choofs onto the takeoff pad, pushing its precious cargo, but, as many competitors found in the opening round, it looks deceptively easy until it isn’t. Going left and right, the middle section has a tendency every second or third wave to stretch out over the shallows, offering two options, neither of them particularly favourable to longboards. You can try to pigdog under the lip and hope that a metre of surfboard flapping in front of you doesn’t destroy your exit line, or you can turn hard and climb and drop at speed along the critical face.
Many of the surfers were on flat-bottom, wide-tail Michael Takayama-inspired boards, proven winners in a wide range of ocean waves but seemingly not ideal for the contours of the pool. The surfers who finished on the podium either switched boards or stuck with more conventional designs, and mixed up their head-dip barrels with smooth carves on the face.
So, you all want to know, how did Noosa go?
Not so great, guys. Mind you, we only had two fillies in the race, and one of them was our adopted Hawaiian daughter, Mason Schremmer, who took out her home-town buddy Kirra Molnar in the first round. Having just watched three-times world champion Honolua Blomfield belt two excellent scores in the first heat, Mason and Kirra, with Japan’s Kaede Inoue, struggled to find rhythm, with Mason progressing with a couple of sixes.
Which brings up a point: Abu Dhabi is a long way to go for most people to ride four waves with the jersey on and head back to the airport. While the three-man heats with wave-waiting time are excruciatingly long, would it have been too much to ask to whack in a two-wave second chance round? Just sayin’.
At the end of the day (night actually) in the women’s, the two French team-mates showed the most style throughout, with Alice Lemoigne taking the honours from Zoe Grospiron. In the men’s a lot of top dogs fell early, including ratings leader Taylor Jensen, and the final was fought out between the two guys who had shown the most flair and wave savvy, with South Africa’s Stevie Sawyer defeating Hawaii’s John Michael (“Johnny the Ripper”) Van Hohenstein.
FOOTNOTE: If you’re interested in local history, particularly the stories behind the creation (against strong opposition) of our glorious Noosa National Park, I’ll be giving a talk at Peppers Noosa Resort next Wednesday afternoon, aided and abetted by Dr Michael Gloster, one of the key protagonists on behalf of Noosa Parks Association for decades. The show at Peppers, overlooking the headland park, is part of the Sunshine Coast Open House program.
Tickets at events.humanitix.com/the-stories-behind-the-creation-of-noosa-national-park
