Just when you think you can’t take any more surfing excitement following Owen’s medal at the Olympics and Steph’s great win in Mexico, The Ultimate Surfer premieres on American ABC this week.
Since before Covid began the World Surf League has been dragging surfing down into lowest-common denominator content creation on all its portals leading to this, the ultimate insult. But don’t let me put you off. Let their publicists do it:
“The Ultimate Surfer gathers some of the world’s most compelling surfers to live and train together as they battle it out on the consistent and perfect waves created at the Surf Ranch in Lemoore, California. The hopes of the contestants are collectively focused on the winner’s prize — an opportunity to compete on the WSL Championship Tour, the pinnacle of professional surfing.”
So a bunch of swimsuit models and influencers, mostly from Southern California which is their global breeding ground, pout poolside at the sweltering Surf Ranch and mouth clichés like “whatever it takes” and “I’m in this to win it” while a bald, middle-aged man watches them from the sidelines. Whoops, sorry. That’s Kelly Slater, their mentor. Let’s stick to the facts, as revealed by the publicity department:
“Jesse Palmer of The Bachelor hosts the eight-episode series alongside commentators Erin Coscarelli and Joe Turpel. Alliances and rivalries are front and centre as men and women compete in individual and team challenges focused on specific elements of surfing. Weekly eliminations will leave two men and two women as finalists, each will vie for the male and female titles of The Ultimate Surfer.”
And a hundred grand, which is peanuts to an influencer.
Most of the competitors are people you’ve never heard of who’ve been around the block a few times, but they sure are pretty. Take Anastasia Ashley, 33, from San Clemente. She finished #312 on the Qualifying Series in 2019 with a highest placing of 17th, so she hasn’t exactly set the surf world on fire yet, but on the other hand she has more than one million followers on Instagram. There’s another guy from Jacksonville, Florida who surfs all day and works in a bar at night, which isn’t very exciting, but he looks a bit like James Dean.
To be fair, whoever came up with this absurd format – say it ain’t you, Kel! – at least knew enough to sprinkle a few real surfers into the mix, like the Hawaiians Zeke Lau, Kai Barger and Koa Smith. Will it be enough?
You can’t judge a reality show by its trailer, but having seen a two-minute one this week, in the interests of sanity I won’t be watching any more TUS, so if it turns out to be awesome, please let me know what I missed.
Where the defibs are
Having installed the Noosa World Surfing Reserve’s second defibrillator station (AED) in the National Park last week, ranger Eugene Craddock and his team set about ensuring that people in need knew where to find it.
Of course no one wants to see an overload of signage in such beautiful natural surroundings, but the fact of the matter is that people die while first responders try to find defibs. Brett Roche of BCR Medical has come up with the answer in the form of discreet but unmissable directional signage.
The AED now sits prominently at the front of the Tea Tree Bay amenities block, joining the previous installation at the Noosa Parks Association kiosk adjacent to the National Park surf break. With one more to come in the park, and Noosa Heads Surf Club about to install three new ones on Main and West Beach, we’ll have the surfing reserve and the trail network through the park well covered.
The trick now is to ensure that everyone in the community knows where to find an AED when it’s needed. That will be our next challenge.
Let the community tour begin!
Councillor Tom Wegener’s Noosa Communities Tour got off to a great start last week at Annie’s Books, followed by well attended gatherings at Land & Sea Brewery and the Hastings Street Tourist Information Centre.
The idea is to encourage people to share their stories and their history, and to think about Noosa’s future. So far the exchange of ideas has been gratifying, and the stories from guest speakers have been riveting. At Annie’s, council chief executive officer Brett de Chastel took us behind the scenes in the de-amalgamation battle, while former mayor Noel Playford explained to the Land & Sea crowd how and why the population cap works, and at the Info Centre, Kabi Kabi Elder Brian Warner gave an emotional account of a Cherbourg childhood. All of this and a little bit of promotion for a certain scribe’s new book!
Still to come on the tour:
Saturday 28 August: Place of Shadows book signing at Berkelouw’s Books, Eumundi, from 9am, followed by a pub lunch with Tom Wegener at The Imperial from 12.30pm.
Wednesday 1 September: With former mayor Bob Abbot at The Apollonian Hotel, Boreen Point, 6pm.
Thursday 2 September: With Landcare’s Phil Moran at Hinterland Brewery, Cooran, from 6pm.
