It was almost a family double for the Noosa Constables at the Longboard Nationals on the Tweed Coast last weekend, with 2006 world champ Josh Constable clocking yet another open mens Oz title in the most exciting final of the event, while son Jive capped a great campaign in the junior men with a valiant second to NSW’s Jimmy-James Tualima.
Josh had been flagging that he was hungry for a title and the chance to get back into the WSL pro events next year, but the biggest hurdle was always going to be mate, rival and in-form fellow Sunny Coaster Clinton Guest, who beat him for the Queensland title in June. But 10 minutes into the final Clinton hadn’t troubled the scorer while Josh had posted a couple of fives to take the lead.
Then Clinton got down to business with a 7.07, followed with a six and jumped out front. Josh 6.50 to get in front again, but with less than 10 on the clock, NSW’s Archie Bemrose, who’d been sitting on a lone 6.43 for 20 minutes, found a 6.90 partner for it and took the lead, pushing Josh back to third. With three minutes to go, Josh went all in and scored a 6.90 to reclaim the lead, held onto it for the hooter and took the title.
Other Noosa locals to excel during the five-day event included Poppy Wright (2nd junior women), Emily Lethbridge (3rd open women), Albie Curtis (3rd over 70 men), Peppie Simpson and Kate Dwyer (over 60 women 2nd and 3rd), Owen Cavanagh ( 4th over 55 men), Chris Prewitt (3rd over 50 men) and Ben Williams (2nd over 40 men).
Kid Kelia gets a wildcard
How young is too young to surf Teahupo’o? Well, when you add the pressure of the occasion being the last finals qualifying event of the 2025 WSL World Championship, I’d say maybe early 20s, but 12-year-old Teahupo’o local Kelia Mehani Gallina, a regular in the often-terrifying Chopes lineup since she was just four, won her spot in next week’s Lexus Tahiti Pro when she defeated Aelan Vaast (another hot local whose brother Kauli won gold for France in last year’s Olympics) in the event trials on July 20. She will become the youngest ever competitor on the championship tour.
“I have no words,” Kelia, who goes by “Miss Teahupo’o” on Instagram, said in her post-final interview. “I’m so happy, I can’t believe it.”
Kelia also said that it will be a dream to match up with world number one Molly Picklum.
Within hours of the trials final, social media lit up with surf stars congratulating Miss Teahupo’o. Bethany Hamilton called Kelia’s win “sick.” Tatiana Weston-Webb said, “So amazing! Congrats Kelia! Take ‘em down!” Erin Brooks chimed in, “Congrats!”
The Tahitian grom was in Australia a couple of months back, competing on the QS tour, and she made friends wherever she went, both for her bubbly personality and her surfing ability, which is beginning to shine even when she’s not threading a barrel at her home break.
RIP Hulk
He wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea, what with the racist rants and Maga rubbish he spruiked over the last decade, but wrestling legend Hulk Hogan, who died last week at 71 was literally larger than life.
I only have one Hulk story but it’s a good one. About 20 years ago, we were overnighting in Malibu with a surfing boat trips buddy of mine, Henry Holmes, who was then a celebrity lawyer justly famous for cutting a deal for the legendary boxer George Foreman to put his name on a smoking grill for $127 million. Needless to say there was a good payday there for Henry too.
When we arrived at Henry’s beachfront he’d just got home from work and before rushing upstairs to shower and hurry up his wife, he explained that we would be dining out with another friend and pugilistic client, Hulk Hogan, who would be arriving soon with his wife for pre-dinner cocktails. Henry said: “Just show them in and get them a drink and we’ll be down soon. Oh, and if you want to stay on his right side, don’t call him Hulk. His name is Terry.”
Terry arrived looking every bit the Hulk, but I greeted him with a g’day Terry, sat them down on the terrace and got them drinks. We wished each other good health and Terry said, “So what do you do, Phil?”
I said, “Funny you should ask, Terry, because I happen to be a professional wrestler in Australia.” Hulk Hogan’s brow lifted, his fake tan glowed and his whiter than white teeth glinted. I thought he was putting his glass down to cough, but he doubled over and roared with laughter and didn’t stop for five minutes. “I love it, I love it!” he finally bellowed. “That’s the funniest thing I ever heard.”
At dinner at Nobu (sensational) I was wedged between Hulk and Henry and, while I didn’t match my initial effort, I managed to keep him amused. And of course, Hulk/Terry picked up the enormous bill. As we left the restaurant, we shook hands and Terry said, “We must do this again.”
Of course we never did, and the next thing I knew my buddy Hulk was in more strife than Flash Gordon, messy divorces, fraud allegations, a reality show that turned his family against him and only Donald trump for comfort.
But he gave me a night to remember, and he went too soon.
