ISOBEL COLEMAN
Cyber bullying, child sex exploitation, scams and fraud, IT theft – these are just some of the illegal, immoral activities that make up the seedy underbelly of the World Wide Web.
Cyber bullying – it’s become such a common phrase that the true horror of this activity often goes unnoticed, with devastating consequences. The National Safe Schools Framework defines bullying as repeated verbal, physical, social or psychological behaviour that is harmful and involves the misuse of power by an individual or group towards one or more persons. Cyber bullying means it is being done online. But what that doesn’t tell you is that bullying is now believed to be the cause of around one-quarter of child suicides in Queensland each year. A survey of 20,000 Australian students aged eight to 14, carried out by the Australian Covert Bullying Prevalence Study, revealed that more than a quarter – 27 per cent – of Year 4 to Year 9 students reported being bullied every few weeks or more during a school term. Australian Human Rights Commission president Professor Gillian Triggs said bullying was “endemic” in Australia, which has been ranked worst in the world for social network bullying. What follows is a harrowing description of the impact cyber bullying had on one local family, told by the mother:
“We thought we were well versed on technology and we are, but not when it came to how it can be used by kids to torture each other. Our daughter was very bright and confident and we never had any problems with bullying until she reached roughly 11 and then it became a huge problem. It started very quickly after school lap tops where issued, up until this point our daughter had never had her own computer or phone. “First it was anonymous messages using Skype, constantly putting her down, telling her she was ugly, fat and stupid. Whoever it was said that nobody liked her and that she would be better of killing herself. We didn’t know about any of this, we just noticed she got more and more withdrawn. Finally she told us what was going on and showed us the messages and we were horrified. The language used was really disturbing and it happened both during and outside school hours. Our daughter was really confused and didn’t know who to trust. We went to our school but they couldn’t do anything about it as the messages where anonymous and eventually they stopped. “As she got older different apps became available and it started again. Tumblr and ASKFM were the main ones used, again because they are anon, vile messages calling her awful names and spreading rumours about her that were not true. Other kids would comment and agree with what was said but some would be supportive of her and tell the bullies they should be ashamed of themselves. The messages became really shocking and we went to the school and the police. Neither could help us because they were all anonymous but even more disturbing was that they both said that they have families in every week complaining about this stuff. Who is providing help to these families? Not schools and not police, we were lost. “Our daughter was either crying or shut in her room. As parents you are meant to be able to protect your family but by not keeping a closer eye on the software our teen was using we had opened the door for this to happen. “Our daughter now has no applications that allow messages to be sent anonymously. ASKFM, TUMBLR, SKYPE are all out of bounds. As is Snapchat. She uses her laptop in the living area with us and not alone in her room and there is special software installed to stop access to sites not suitable for kids. Our decisions are not always popular with our daughter and she frequently asks to have some of these apps back but we have said no, we are not opening up that door again. “Even as an adult this type of abuse and language would be hard to take but our sons and daughters are being spoken to like that on a daily basis and parents know nothing about it. We are very thankful that we made the changes we did when we did. I know of other families who are struggling with new applications like Snapchat, with boys as young at 13 putting pressure on girls to send images of themselves using Snapchat or their phones. “With the internet it is difficult to control the ages of kids that your child chats to. In some cases girls who are 13 and 14 are being pursued by boys who are 17 or 18. They also end up with “friends” at school all over Noosa Shire so kids from other schools become involved in the bullying online and rumours and images spread from school to school. “The local schools are in the best position to educate parents on how to protect our kids on the Internet. Some homes don’t have a computer until a child brings one home from school. There needs to be new rules, and guidelines that schools must follow regarding access to apps and the Internet on school laptops. Online etiquette needs to be a regular part of the school curriculum. The only people who can change any of this going forward is parents and teachers working together to teach the kids early on what is and what is not acceptable then it will become second nature, just like good table manners. “There are school programs but they fall short and do not start early enough or carry on through the school years.”
