Over the past several months I’ve been working on a big project with a close mate who is widely regarded as the world’s leading producer of live sports telecasts over the past 50 years and across three continents.
I’ve been thereabouts for most of that half century, sometimes in his employ, sometimes just along for the amazing ride. He’s a volatile old bugger, but we don’t argue too often, except when the conversation turns to the World Surf League. “Don’t get me started,” he’ll whine, and then there’s no stopping him. I was very glad to hear he’d managed to completely miss the WSL Longboard International in the Surf Abu Dhabi wave pool last weekend, which tested the patience of even solid supporters like your correspondent.
Look, I’m sure the tub is a lot of fun, and if I ever find myself passing through Abu Dhabi on my way to somewhere I want to be, I might even shout myself a session. But a longboard event on a mechanical wave does not gripping television entertainment make. Not even close.
It’s not even the riding of the wave and its mostly predictable sections that’s the problem. It’s the long minutes of dead airtime while we wait for the freight train to reload and chug back into the basin pushing a wave towards the next competitor. Granted, we might get a gushing but thankfully brief “on the glass” athlete interview to take our minds off the fact that nothing is happening, but why not chuck in pre-edited short bios of the competitors? Is that too much to ask?
But let’s get to the surfing, which certainly had its moments but often became a comedy of errors and barrel avoidance, particularly on the girls’ side of the draw. Granted, the shallow inside barrel section at Abu Dhabi can be challenging, for while the wave may be machine made, it does not produce identical waves. Too often we saw the guys twisting themselves inside out to get under the hood, only to get buried as the freight train gained speed. And far too often we saw the girls toy with the idea of a cover-up but then settle for a bit of hand jive with the lip to demonstrate proximity.
Our Noosa girls, Kirra Molnar, Emily Lethbridge and Hawaii transplant Mason Schremmer, made a good showing but only Emily made it to round two, where she finished just outside the cut. In the blokes Clinton Guest had no luck at all, while Josh Constable was on fire in the commentary box. Of the other Aussies in the draw, it was an all-Manly affair, with Tully White making it to the women’s quarters and Declan Wyton the men’s, where they both bowed out.
Getting to the pointy end in the women’s, there were three standout surfers in my eyes – California’s rankings leader Avalon Gall, Brazil’s Chloe Calmon on the comeback trail and three-times world champ and new proud mum Hawaii’s Honolua Blomfield. Goofy-footer Chloe had the poise to make it all the way until she ran into the machine in the semis. No, not that machine, the Honno machine!
Just a few months after giving birth, Honno showed she was back in form at Bells last month and, after a shaky start in the tub, finishing a close second to Avalon in the opening round, she blasted out of the second elimination round and into the quarters with a near-perfect 9.8. Of her nine counted waves across the event, Honno went excellent (over eight points) on seven, scoring over nine in four of them.
Avalon pushed her hard in the final, but she was unstoppable.
As was France’s Edouard Delpero in the men’s. I watched Edouard and his older brother Antoine flapping around in the shorebreak learning to surf when we lived in the Pays Basque a quarter of a century ago. It never looked like the younger kid would catch up on his brother, and, to be honest, something of the flapper has stuck with Edouard ever since. But this season he’s on fire, carving with a new, refined approach. He was good at Bells, excellent in Abu Dhabi, where he identified the winning formula was to time your barrels and make them.
Delpero scored two nines for an incredible 18.43 in the first round, and went excellent in all but one of his eight counted waves. No one read the pool like the formerly flapping Frenchman. Et bravo, mon pot!
Edouard wears the yellow jersey into next week’s world title finals in El Salvador, with Australia’s Kai Ellice-Flint behind him in second, and Max Weston and Declan Wyton also slipping into the final eight. In the women’s Avalon Gall hangs on to the yellow jersey with Honno now in third place and our Tully White sneaking in at eight.
Fonz must go!
It’s breaking my heart to let him go, but, owing to old age and a crook back, my beloved Fonz 100 Arthur 1 EV moped needs a new home. 2022 model, only around 700km on the odometer, in great nick and comes complete with fitted surfboard rack and helmet. Enquiries 0400 118045 or email phil@philjarratt.com
