Margi Matters
PROBLEM solving skills are powerful tools for safeguarding happiness and success.
While many problems are easily addressed, others seem beyond resolution. We leap from one ineffective solution to another.
People suffer unnecessarily for years with problems that can often be quickly resolved.
Essentially, counselling is about effectively resolving the myriad problems we encounter in living.
Successful people are skillful problem solvers.
Problem solving involves a specific process and skills that can be learned and applied to any problem.
Key skills are listening and questioning skills.
Unresolved problems bring many couples to counselling.
Sara and Tom’s relationship was on the edge.
They both defined the problem as Sara’s jealousy.
Much anger, frustration, hurt and resentment had built up from intense and frequent fights.
Tom was deeply hurt and frustrated about being unable to convince Sara of his trustworthiness.
Their solutions were to give Sara open access to Eric’s phone and social media, and to do everything together from socializing to going to the gym.
By putting their focus on managing the jealousy, they had missed the possibilities for effective solutions.
The source problem was Sara’s deep insecurities about herself.
Jealousy was simply how this problem was expressed in the relationship.
The jealousy was no longer triggered after Sara’s anxiety and negative beliefs about herself were addressed.
The golden key to problem solving is to accurately define the problem.
This requires identifying and sufficiently understanding all of the variables and their influences in the situation.
The problem may not be what you think it is.
Asking the right questions is vital. With sufficient information the true or source problem becomes clear.
The problem solving process explores:
a) The source and contributing factors to the problem situation.
b) How the problem is maintained.
c) Interference such as assumptions, premature conclusions and habitual thinking.
d) The impact of unsuccessful attempts to resolve the problem.
Solutions will usually effortlessly reveal themselves as you work through the process.
Selecting and then implementing the most effective solution is only the final step.
No matter how intractable a problem may seem, all problems can be resolved.
Margi Matters is a highly experienced and caring Psychologist. All enquiries welcome. Call 0438337798 or email margimatters@gmail.com
